When I first got to the passageway, it
took me a moment to get my bearings because it seemed unfamiliar. A moment
later, I was astonished to realize that I was at the opposite end of the
corridor from my usual
entry.
It was the same
general area I had been
in many times before, but it was all backwards. I was standing with my back to
the big window by the trees and I was looking up toward the
entrance
I usually come through. As I stood there, I recognized several of the
chambers
I had previously visited. I looked to the
entryway
to my right. It was rather intriguing to me, and yet I chose not to go into it
either and began walking down the
passage
instead. About halfway
down,
I felt the strangest feeling in my right shoulder, like a warm tingling. I had
injured that shoulder in a car accident in the late 1980s and the warmth felt
good. I could tell it was coming from the
space
off to my right so I turned to face that
opening.
This
entryway was
wild, not at all like any of the others. It was actually
a hole
that had been covered by what appeared to be an animal skin draped top to
bottom. I reached out to stroke the material that covered the opening. My
fingers explored the rough pelt. It reminded me of a deerskin hide my parents
had when I was a child. Cautiously, I pulled a corner aside and peeked
inside.
At first, it looked empty, but before I could enter, a "being" came through
another opening on the far wall. He reminded me of what we would call a
"caveman." His hair was long and matted. His skin was mostly covered with dark
hair and he wore a full beard. His face was streaked with sweat and dirt and
his eyes were like black stones. He stared at me momentarily, then began
rushing around,
as if he had a million important things to do. I noticed his upper body was
slightly hunched over and his legs were sturdy and firm. He wore an animal
skin that covered half of his chest and wrapped his torso like a leather
mini-skirt. He had a small pouch hanging from his waist and a larger one slung
over his shoulder. I could hear his breath coming in audible gasps and groans
and watching him scurry about made me feel anxious and a bit nervous. In the
process of asking myself
what on earth I must have been thinking when I decided to enter this
place,
just as suddenly as he had begun moving, he stopped. By this time, I had
completely lost any recollection of what I had come here for.
He stood, as if frozen to the spot, and I briefly wondered if I could possibly
have been watching a film that someone suddenly put on "pause." Looking around
, I could see the walls were earth and stone and had been carved out to create
shelves and stools, etc. Some of the crude shelves were open, others were
draped with cloth or skins. The
space
was fairly dim, but I could see the bright sun filtering through a wide
opening to my left. Still, the man remained unmoving.
I decided to explore the
area while
I waited for something to happen and hesitantly walked up to the strange man
to look him over. He was extremely fit, arms and legs solid with muscle. His
feet were bare, except for a small band of fur wrapped around one ankle. I was
tempted to touch him, but shrank back at the thought. His eyes stared straight
ahead and he held one arm away from his body as if he had just begun to pick
something up. Just watching him made my senses expectant, as I felt he could
start moving again at any time. I was convinced his body must smell rank, and
yet, I couldn't really detect any odor. I realize now I was making an unfair
assumption based on his wild appearance.
Soon, I began to really enjoy this visit. For some inexplicable reason, I
was immensely curious about this man and his dwelling. After examining the
objects on the shelves, I walked over to the opening in the wall, where the
sun was coming through, and took a step outside. It was an amazing sight. The
landscape was huge and stretched into miles of open land. The sky was a deep
blue and cloud-free. I guessed it was about noon on a summer day. Where? I'm
not sure, maybe here, but perhaps thousands of years ago. The landscape was
quite a bit like some of the Oregon foothills my family took me to as a child,
rolling hills, red iron-rich soil, oak trees, huge boulders. I felt my body
jump with a start as I spied a tiny lizard crawling up the face of the rock in
front of me. His movements were quick as he darted from one place to another,
finally stopping to sun himself in a jagged crevice. As I stood in this spot I
felt my senses alert me to the sights and sounds around me, a constant
cacophony of bird and animal sounds. This unparalleled moment became so
material and tangible that I actually reached a protective hand up to my eyes
to shade my face from the bright sun (even
had a moment's concern about sunburn!).
The sun's warmth felt so good on my body. I stood there and let it sink in,
closing my eyes to take it all in. (One
of these days, I'll realize at the moment, instead of later, that when I close
my eyes, things happen!)
Suddenly I felt something brush against my leg. I looked down to see a small
child pulling at my pant-leg. He was a beautiful child of maybe five years.
His eyes were as blue as the sky and his skin was soft and clear, his fair
hair reflecting the sun's rays. He grinned up at me with an infectious giggle
which prompted me to pat his head with my hand and say, "Well, who the heck
are you?" With that he stretched his arms out and up. I got the message and
reached to pick him up -- he was much lighter than he looked. I found him to
be absolutely delightful, brimming with joy. I puzzled at the contrast between
the purity of the child and the filthy being inside the cave. I found myself
whispering to him, "I wonder what you have to teach me?" With that, the boy
signaled that he wanted me to put him down, so I did.
He motioned for me to follow him back into the cave. I turned and reentered
the dimly lit space. The boy scampered up to the cave-dweller and stood
directly in front of him. He looked up to me and gestured toward the man,
giving me a questioning look. I wasn't sure what he was getting at, but a
second later I heard a voice saying, "What could you learn from this man?" The
voice was not coming from the caveman or the child. I glanced around the room
to see if I could find the source of the disembodied voice, but no one else
was there as far as I could tell. Just as I was about to speak, the voice
continued, "Most would judge this being as lacking because of his appearance
and wildness -- are you among those?"
I stood there, self-consciously waiting for confirmation that the voice was
speaking to me and whether I should answer or not. I glanced at the child and
he grinned widely and nodded his head. I said hesitantly, "I hope I wouldn't
judge him or anyone." But remembering his bizarre behavior, I definitely had
judged him.
The voice said, "Most would . . . how many have you passed by on the street
who could have been great teachers in your life?" Without waiting for an
answer, he continued, "Who among you believe only a Christ can heal?" I was
puzzled by way he stated the question (who
among you),
as if he were addressing more than just myself, glancing around the room once
again, I remained quiet, waiting for the next statement. "What does Christ
look like to you?" Again I did not answer -- I was beginning to guess that the
voice would go on speaking with or without my answers.
"You live in a world of dualities, you say one thing and mean another. You
give your children rules that you yourself don't follow and expect them to
blindly obey. You might call this child and his unkempt friend a duality, for
they seem like opposites to you, and yet ironically, they send the same
message. Can you see it"
I found myself as frozen in position as the caveman before me. I didn't know
what to say, so I remained silent.
He continued, "You came here to get wisdom on healing and you will get it . .
. if you can release your judgment. You, and others, wonder why you can't
heal, especially those of you who have some spiritual schooling."
"Look at the two before you and discern their value and significance.
Determine what gifts they might have to offer."
Because I didn't act or move the voice shouted loudly, "Now!" I jumped forward
and began comparing the two beings in front of me. The child was charming and
appealing in his beauty and purity. The man was decidedly dissimilar, if fact
nearly opposite in appearance. Remembering the lecture on judgment the voice
had just warned me about, I attempted to look beyond the physical and
determine what the personalities might tell me. The child was warm and
captivating, the caveman, didn't exude much for personality, but truly what
could I really tell from the few moments of observing his strange antics of
rushing about the
cave?
I stepped closer and looked carefully at the hairy face staring back at me.
Now, only inches apart, I could feel his aura tingling at my face. I
reluctantly reached a hand toward him and lightly stroked his beard. His eyes
were staring directly into mine. For the first time, I looked back into his
eyes and was immediately flooded with emotion. My entire body flushed with
warmth. Before, when I had watched his scruffy body whirling around the room,
I had not even noticed his eyes, except to note they were very dark in color.
Here and now, I felt I was looking into forever, and falling forward into it's
depths. I was bewildered at my reaction to his unlikely appeal and pulled
back in shock.
Gathering my wits, I glanced down toward the sweet little being now standing
to one side of the caveman. He smiled up at me and I bent down to rest on my
knees so I could get a closer look. Reflecting on the unanticipated response
I'd had to the wild man's eyes, I purposely looked deeply into the child's
unwavering gaze. The blue eyes flashed back at me reminiscent of sparkling
cut-glass. Holding my breath expectantly, I continued watching, waiting for
another flood of emotion, but none came. In an unexpected childish movement,
the boy thrust his hand in front of my face and tweaked me on the cheek. I
fell back, shocked at his impishness. He fell to the ground giggling, as if he
had just played the greatest joke.
The voice spoke once more, "Well, what are your findings?" I searched for
something to say but came up empty. Again, "Speak!"
With the intention of admitting to the voice that I had nothing to say,
somehow my words themselves began to make sense of it all. First I stammered,
"I can't . . . I don't . . ." Then, surprising myself, the words came tumbling
out of my mouth, "The child is beautiful and adorable, but has no depth. His
playfulness is engaging, but I would easily tire of his energy . . . the
caveman kind of scares me, but I'm drawn to him -- he's fascinating and has a
powerful aura. His stillness is calming, unlike his busy movements earlier."
"Very good . . . what about his messy, dirty, body? You were put off by his
looks just moments ago?"
I thought to myself . . . yes, but after being near him, I didn't even notice
his appearance.
"What did you perceive?"
I hesitated then said, "It wasn't what I saw, it was what I felt."
"YES!" the voice shouted. "Yes, indeed! You now will have much to contemplate
from this, yes?" I nodded.
"Now children (again
it was as if he were addressing more than me)
you are asking for a new perspective on healing: Consider the soul who comes
into this life for the adventure, as we all do. During his life, he is faced
with difficult situations that challenge his will. He becomes disappointed and
develops a negative outlook which in turn, affects his body. He develops
illness and pain. This instills a deep desire for healing. He faces choice
after choice, experiencing creation after creation. His journey is unpleasant
and arduous until he begs for relief. He may turn to drugs, surgery,
meditation, prayer, or suicide."
"My question to you is, if you could, would you heal him? . . . I hear your
answer, and it literally drips with the wisdom gained. You say, "Yes, but it's
not really ME who is doing the healing. I am simply a vessel, a conduit for
the Holy Spirit. The sick person must be willing to BE healed, before I can do
anything." As I said, there is much wisdom in this answer. BUT, I would like
to suggest that the correct answer to my question is, NO!"
"This may astonish you my children, but I suggest to you that perhaps there
are no true healers."
"First, the act of healing another, even through their desire and surrender,
although certainly possible, is actually an act of thievery - stealing their
opportunities from them. They came here to LIVE the adventure. Illness is a
great teacher. Pain, the greatest teacher. It may be an unpopular truth, but
this soul actually came here to experience this pain and suffering. It is not
in his chosen journey to be healed. It is his journey to live the fallout from
his pain. The illness teaches him compassion and patience. He learns humility
and gratitude. As the soul revisits and reviews his life, these are the most
appreciated moments of his lifetime. He knows his abscessed tooth, crippled
leg, or even cancer, are all gifts from God. He becomes wise and humble in
it's shadow."
"That's why the man who truly desires healing may still remain ill, for his
soul knows his journey and holds the body in the vibration chosen for his
experience (until
his healing comes from within)."
"Another part of this new perspective is: Why does one most often want to heal
another? There are those with deeply compassionate hearts who truly want to
give the other a chance at a new life. These beloved beings (I
see a visual picture of Mother Teresa)
work in their own innocence, with no sense of depriving the other of their
soul's journey. Their loving hearts lift all around them and are true lights
to the planet."
"But for most, they heal for their own satisfaction and ego. This may sounds
harsh, my lovely beings,
(again as if speaking to many, instead of just me)
but a notable aspect to your enlightenment is to finally understand that
everything is as it should be! You say you know this, and yet you want to
change that which doesn't delight you. If there are no mistakes, and if the
universe is created through vibratory attention, how could any creation be
wrong? How could any single thing need fixing?"
"Sweet entities, I don't expect you to unravel this mystery in a single moment
of insight. This knowledge is one of the most difficult principles for humans
to comprehend because it seems far from any interpretation of the passage to
genius, and therefore sometimes takes lifetimes of experience to illuminate
it's truth. It's common for one who is on the road to spiritual awakening to
have a false impression of this transformation."
"One must surrender all opinion, judgment, and desire for control. The world
does not need a savior. The world is just as it should be. You, my seekers of
truth, must be willing to embrace this life as it is. You want to make a
difference -- you think this must come by changing things for the better and,
of itself, that is a noble aspiration. Just be aware that everything is in
constant movement, therefore, in constant change. Your block is your
fight-for-right. Your happiness is most often determined by what you are
observing in the world and, if you don't like what you see, you push against
it. That resistance manifests in your body, your attitude, and your life. It
determines your capacity for love, for joy, and perhaps most important to you,
for health."
"To influence another, you must be an example. You must
live
as a disciple of higher thought."
"Hear me! Your 'knowing' is behind a wall of exertion. You try and try again,
straining to lift the curtain -- the veil of false programming that says you
have to work hard, to toil and labor and never give up - keep trying! These
falsehoods are the bars on your jail. Relinquish all these rules and free
yourself. You chase away enlightenment through the effort. Relax and
BE
your genius! You believe you are lost and must be found. Your genius, your
joy, your healthy body, your passion, your delight, are
ALL
alive and visible when the veil is lifted."
"You shake your head in judgment when you hear the phrase, 'Don't worry, be
happy!' and consider it too simplistic, but it is one of the greatest truths
in this universe, and the key to your freedom. I suggest to you, that your
life would become greater than your wildest dreams if you simply found ways
throughout your day to resonate joy. This is a challenge to many of you
because you've never known true joy. Precious entities,
true joy only comes with the release of control.
Your dreams shall be revealed when you relinquish the reins to Spirit."
"And now my cherished ones . . . many times, you've been hesitant to speak
your love, for fear . . .
Never
hold back the words, I LOVE YOU. These words will change your life, your body,
and your soul."
Suddenly, as if someone flipped the off-switch, the vision in front of me went
black. The
cave,
the two beings, the stone walls, all simply disappeared. The voice faded into
silence. I felt exhausted. I became aware once more of where I was. My legs
had gone numb and my neck ached. I briefly wished for the warming sun of the
landscape I just left. But it was gone as quickly as it had come and all I was
left with was a sore body, a ton of notes, and a million questions!
SOME THINGS TO
THINK ABOUT
